Before he arrives I thought it might be helpful to familiarise you with my new cycling and dance partner ( for the next 5 days) Dr Horn. A lot of people are clearly wondering why Dr Horn, out of all the applicants for the prestigious Levkas to Tirana leg, why did Stuart select Dr Horn aka the Pompous Knob?
Quite honestly one of the reasons involved his medical background and training. As a doctor I thought this might be helpful should I suffer from dehydration, broken bones, bruised buttocks, or even something unexpected such as chlamydia. Unfortunately I have since found out he has no medical training whatsoever but is instead a leading expert in fluid dynamics. Brilliant, not even a proper doctor……..my bad.
On a more positive note Dr Horn’s background, upbringing and passion make him an excellent candidate for this voyage of discovery and enlightenment. Raised in a circus, from a very early age Dr Horn was trained on a unicycle to cross a tightrope over a pool of hungry crocodiles. As a teenager he courageously rode a motorbike inside the tunnel of death, then as an adult he took a job with Citigroup where he has developed a real passion for understanding different global accounting standards.
From a security perspective if, and I don’t subscribe to such stereotypes, the Albanians are half as bad as everybody but Richard Hasselwood keeps telling me then so long as I’m faster than Dr Horn I should be ok.
On dancing Dr Horn is something of an enigma. I think the plan is to break him in gently but by the end of the week to have produced something quite spectacular, something that great British acts such as Steps, the Chuckle brothers, the Krankies or One direction would be proud of.
Of course the most important thing is that having an extra person will half the cost of accommodation. So thanks for coming and a warm welcome to Dr Horn.
Ladies and Gentlemen for the next week we give you Dancing Bear and the Pompous Knob (on a bike still).